Mormon Housewife Blogs & Life Philosophy

Emily Matchar, who describes herself as a "standard-issue late-20-something childless overeducated atheist feminist," recently posted at Salon.com an article entitled, "Why I can't stop reading Mormon housewife blogs." She concludes:

[T]he basic messages expressed in these blogs -- family is wonderful, life is meant to be enjoyed, celebrate the small things -- are still lovely. And if they help women like me envision a life in which marriage and motherhood could potentially be something other than a miserable, soul-destroying trap, I say, "Right on."

At the same time, Matchar recognizes that Mormon culture is not perfect. It has its stresses. There are demands. Yet, Matchar also seems to realize that there is value in many of the Mormon ideals.

Reading Matchar's article provoked me to think about what are the essential philosophies of life found among most Mormon people. The Mormon people are far more diverse than others often give us credit for being. Thus, many Mormons might describe their philosophy of life a little differently. Consequently, I found myself wanting to tell Matchar that she could be a Latter-day Saint in good standing and still be childless, overeducated, and feminist, if she so desired. (I had a Provo, Utah great-aunt, who was such). Of course, by definition, Mormons are not atheists. But, what are the essentials of Mormon life that most would agree upon?

Here is my list:

Faith:
Elder Dallin H. Oaks (1994) states: "The first principle of the gospel is not 'faith.' The first principle of the gospel is 'Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ' (Article of Faith 1:4).

As implied above, Mormonism is a God-based culture. Notions of atheism have no role. Further, life is seen as having some divine purpose. Despite all the trials and oppositions, life has some greater meaning that goes above and beyond us humans. Do we understand that greater purpose? No, not entirely, but we have but a sketch of that purpose. For example, we are told: "For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors" (Alma 34:32).

The center of Mormon life philosophy is captured in this verse:

Moroni 10:32
32 … come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ.

To reemphasize, if Jesus were to be taken out of the Mormon equation of life, then there would be no Mormonism. The whole religious system, under such a circumstance, would fall apart.

Repentance & Forgiveness
Second only to faith are the principles that state it is always possible to turn around one's life for the good. Elder Neal A. Maxwell in a talk entitled "Repentance," described the process as "one of the most vital and merciful doctrines." Repentance is achieved, in large part, by a sincere resolution to avoid reckless vices and to aim for the higher moralities of life. While Mormons aim for perfection, they do not claim to have achieved it. Instead, Mormonism involves a lifelong process of repentance and improvement.

Forgiveness is an essential companion doctrine. Mormons believe it is always possible to turn one's life around for the good. D&C 64:9-10 states: "ye ought to forgive one another" and "it is required to forgive all men [and women]." We all need repentance and forgiveness.

Prayer, Study & Action
It is fair to describe Mormonism as a prayer society. A remarkable talk on the topic of prayer is "Sweet Power of Prayer" by Elder Russell M. Nelson (2003), a former heart surgeon. We build temples and chapels that are houses of prayer, and the prayers that are given are directed to everyone in need.

Prayer comes with at least two responsibilities: study and action. As we seek guidance on life decisions, we are urged: "study it out in your mind" (D&C 9:8). "Intelligence" is not a characteristic to be swept aside (D&C 93:36). One significant aspect of study concerns the scriptures. We are taught: "Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me" (John 5:39).

Prayers also mandate action. Mormon scriptures often imply or state the following kinds of ideas:

Alma 34:27-28
27Yea, and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your hearts be full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are around you.

28And now behold, my beloved brethren, I say unto you, do not suppose that this is all; for after ye have done all these things, if ye turn away the needy, and the naked, and visit not the sick and afflicted, and impart of your substance, if ye have, to those who stand in need—I say unto you, if ye do not any of these things, behold, your prayer is vain, and availeth you nothing… .

It is fair to describe the Mormon life philosophy as including the ancient aphorism: "Pray as though everything depended upon God. Work as though everything depended upon you" (see, e.g., President Thomas S. Monson: Liahona, March 2009, "Come unto Him in Prayer and Faith").

Personal Freedom & Individuality
A happy life involves personal freedom. Coercion has NO place in Mormonism. Individual decisions matter. Latter-day Saint scripture teaches: "… for behold, ye are free; ye are permitted to act for yourselves; for behold, God hath given unto you a knowledge and he hath made you free" (Helaman 14:30-31).

Freedom of belief is taught in multiple key documents. Here is one such important verse from the Book of Mormon:

Alma 1:21
21 Now there was a strict law among the people of the church, that there should not any man, belonging to the church, arise and persecute those that did not belong to the church, and that there should be no persecution among themselves.

Freedom of religion is taught as well:

D&C 134:9
We do not believe it just to mingle religious influence with civil government, whereby one religious society is fostered and another proscribed in its spiritual privileges, and the individual rights of its members, as citizens, denied.

Mormonism is quite willing to place its doctrines upon the metaphorical battlefield of ideas, in order to let the best ideas win. Dictatorial force, however, has no place. As such, individuality matters.

Family Togetherness
In an official document of the Church entitled, "The Family: A Proclamation to the World," it states, "Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children." Further, it states: "Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities."

Getting along and loving one another is a BIG idea in Mormonism, since families are a unit that may stay together for eternity. (Such an idea probably does NOT apply to severely dysfunctional families where "togetherness" is a living nightmare).

Service to Humanity
This value is best summarized in the following Mormon verse: "… when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God" (Mosiah 2:17). Latter-day Saints contribute to a large humanitarian fund that actively distributes aid all over the world, to LDS and non-LDS alike.

Latter-day Saints do NOT conceptualize themselves as a "chosen people" with exclusive claims to heaven. Instead, they conceptualize themselves as servants given the assignment to assist everyone who has been on earth (both dead and alive) to find the pathway that returns them to their Father (and Mother) in Heaven.

Missionary Work
A significant part of the Latter-day Saint obligation is to spread the gospel. Many LDS verses read as follows: "… thou shalt continue proclaiming my gospel until thou be taken [away in death]" (D&C 99:8). In fact, missionary work continues beyond death in an existence known as the "spirit world" (see D&C 138). One Book of Mormon verse reads: "this is my glory, that perhaps I may be an instrument in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance; and this is my joy" (Alma 29:9).

The missionary work obligation is NOT to be a pest or to be coercive (even if this sometimes occurs). In fact the scriptures read as follows: "let your preaching be the warning voice, every man to his neighbor, in mildness and in meekness" (D&C 38:41). Latter day Saints firmly believe in allowing all men and women the right to worship according to the dictates of their own conscience: "let them worship how, where, or what they may" (Article of Faith #11).

Be Not Afraid
The exact phrase "be not afraid" occurs 33 times in scriptural verses. Using other wording, many other verses express the same idea, such as: "I fear not what man can do; for perfect love casteth out all fear" (Moroni 8:16). Further, much LDS literature uses this phrase: "We do not take counsel from our fears" (see, e.g., President James E. Faust, "Be Not Afraid," 2002).

The core values, expressed above in this piece, require a certain amount of bravery. Faith requires courage, because it often involves moving forward into the unknown. Repentance and forgiveness require courage, because we must admit our own shortcomings and set aside those of others. True prayer requires courage, because the answers to our prayers often may be different than we expected. "Family" may require courage, because I cannot imagine anything more frightening than raising a 16-year old. And, missionary work requires courage, because it involves reaching out to others on the sensitive topic of religion.

Summary and Conclusion
These short simple statements found in scripture summarize the Mormon philosophy of life: "Adam fell that men [and women] might be; and men [and women] are, that they might have joy" (2 Nephi 2:25). How does one find joy? A famous hint from the Book of Mormon is that "wickedness never was happiness" (Alma 41:10).

Perhaps the best concrete summary is this:

Article of Faith #13
We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

I do hope that Emily Matchar keeps reading "Mormon housewife blogs." She says she will read them, even though she states: "I won't be inviting the missionaries inside for hot cocoa now or ever." Regardless, I hope she discovers that Mormons need not be anti-feminist, or anti-intellectual, or lacking in sensitivity to social injustices. I hope she finds the diversity to Mormon thought, but I also hope she identifies the underlying factors that make Mormon life attractive.

For me, the subtle, if not explicit, messages of the "Mormon housewife" is that a life of amplified meaning comes from faith, repentance, forgiveness, prayer, study, action, personal freedom, individuality, family togetherness, humanitarian service, spreading the gospel, and NOT being afraid. With perhaps the exclusion of LDS missionary work, the mentioned factors are not (and should not be) a Mormon monopoly.

Best wishes to Emily Matchar, and please keep reading, thinking, and writing …

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