If the LDS world cried out, then it did not cry loud enough for me to hear. Why didn't I hear? I just found out. I read the Church News. I read all kinds of LDS blogs. I go to Church each week. The Bishop never made an announcement. It wasn't in the Ward bulletin. Where did I go wrong? Obviously, my ivory tower is too high.
I am typing this message in shock, anger, disappointment, and fear. Why fear? I am afraid that I do NOT know how to survive this coming Iowa winter.
In case you were like me and you have not heard, then I have some sad news. Kraft Foods, Inc. has discontinued Postum. We non-coffee drinkers have been severely deprived of our rich, full-bodied, naturally caffeine-free drink.
Feel free to take a breather and perhaps even cry. Below is a marker for your return after your emotions come under control.
Embarrassingly, Postum was discontinued in October of 2007. I kept a healthy stock of Postum at home, and I just ran out. I could not find it in any of our local stores. Then, I did some Internet research. The result was just sad news.
In March of 2008 The Christian Science Monitor published this article entitled: "Can Postum fans revive their beloved beverage?" Frankly, the article does not offer much hope.
In memoriam:
On many a cold Iowa morning, just after clearing the sidewalks of snow, I had an old friend that could warm me up. Yes, it was my dear, dear Postum.
I made it a special way. I put a mug of water in the microwave and brought it to a boil. Next, I stirred in two teaspoons of Postum and a teaspoon of honey. Sometimes, I put in molasses or a pinch of cinnamon. Last, I mixed in 3 or 4 tablespoons of milk.
It is my contention that this drink mix cures all ills. In any case, it made a great placebo. It made me a better man –well, … at least a warmer man.
I put my friend away during the balmy months. It was a mistake. I should have realized that Kraft Foods Inc. was ONLY thinking of profit. I needed to support my friend by continuously contributing to the profit margins. Alas, I did not do a good enough job in keeping those store shelves empty. I simply took my friend for granted and assumed an immortality that it did not have.
(Readers beware: I am not interested in conspiracy theories based upon acrylamide toxicity, unless you have hard evidence and are willing to give up eating French fries & potato chips).
The problem is what will be my substitute solution? What product can go to bat for Postum?
I have only begun my search. Pero? Roastaroma? Cafix? Teeccino? Are these drinks tasty or insipid? I know nothing but their claims.
Surely, there must be someone (anyone) out there who could direct my Postum-less paths?
Don't worry. I have no interest in drinking "decaf" coffee.
Even so, I have a question that will surely irritate my wife (which is why I raise it). What is so wrong with decaf, which has NO caffeine, especially considering that we eat chocolate, which is filled with it?
I should add that one to my growing list of unanswerable, irritating questions.
In any case, I plan to write and complain to:
Kraft Foods, Inc.
800 Westchester Ave.
Rye Brook, NY 10573
The letter will be something like:
Dear Kraft Foods:
We are freezing in Iowa. We need a good hot drink like Postum, which you unfortunately discontinued.
Please resurrect Postum. Otherwise, a large number of us faithful Postum drinkers will start our own food company with the mission statement, "Krush Kraft."
Sincerely,
An Unfulfilled Postum Drinker
Copyright 2009 S.Faux (Email: foxgoku54 [at] gmail [d0t] c0m; URL: http://mormoninsights.blogspot.com). Readers may distribute this post for noncommercial purposes provided such distributing is of the entire post, including author's copyright and contact information. All other rights reserved.
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19 comments:
When I was growing up, we often had a beef roast for Sunday dinner. Then later for supper we made roast beef sandwiches, and of course, Postum. The two were just made for each other. I had heard that Postum was discontinued, but evidently some stores still have it on their shelves. I found a bottle, so quickly bought it. Now I'm thinking I should try to find a couple more before they are gone forever!
I don't know how you've missed this sad news and the mourning it has spawned on several Mormon blogs (including Keepa), but I congratulate you for the blissful unawareness that has spared you this grief until now. :( I mourn with you who mourn!
I haven't had a bishop call me out on it yet, but I drink green tea occasionally. However, I drink it only occasionally because it tastes awful, really.
Also, while I was in Hawaii, I had the chance to go to the Polynesian Cultural Center to enjoy a Luau. Of course, the church owns the PCC, and consequently no beer, wine, or other spirits were served. In fact, they only served non caffeinated products. Included in their beverage selection was...decaf coffee!
What is the message members should take from that?
Atticus,
Not sure what you should take from that. Decaffeinated coffee is clearly against the word of wisdom regardless. Seems weird to me.
Exactly how I felt when they stopped selling instant egg nog crystals.
Sorry - no sympathy here.
I first learned about Postum on my mission. It smells a lot like regular coffee - neither one that I could stand to be around
Maintour:
You nose must be a LOT different than mine. I do not like the smell of coffee, but LOVE the smell of Postum.
To me, they are as different as skunks and foxes. Of course, I have a strong bias towards foxes.
-- S.Faux
Dad, I have never seen you touch that can of Postum, which I swear has collected dust for almost 20 years.....lol
Son #1
I was never a big fan of Postum, but like Ardis, I mourn with those that mourn.
I mourn Kodachrome, but I have only myself to blame. I haven't shot a roll in years.
I'm stocking up on one-piece garments.
Son#1:
Postum is in glass jars, not cans.
When you lived at home I am sure you paid NO ATTENTION to what I drank. No Postum in my house has ever collected dust, but true I drank it only during the cold months.
Left Field:
We are made from the same mold. Postum, Kodachrome, and the one-piece are all items that shape my life figuratively and/or literally.
I think that there are some copycat postum recipes out there. Here's one:
http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1630,149185-250198,00.html
I think if I got that desperate I would try it. I am a hot chocolate kind of guy.
Snap! Is there a rumor that the one-piece garments are going to be discontinued. I love the freedom of no elastic at the waist.
Dearest Son #1: I can vouch for the fact that your father has drank Postum ever since I've known him. In fact, the Postum makes an appearance anytime he thinks he might be getting sick. He swears by the hot, full-bodied drink, and that it helps sooth his sore throat. So YOU'RE WRONG! Deepest love and regards, your Mother.
Follow-up report to readers:
I rushed out to my local nutrition store and picked up a bottle of instant (crystals) Cafix. I made up my standard recipe discussed in the blog; used honey, and a touch of vanilla.
I must say with a big smile that in a blind taste test, I would NOT be able to distinguish it from Postum.
I don't like the name Cafix, but that is about the only down side that I can tell. Also, it costs twice as much as Postum. The ingredients are barley, chicory, rye, and beet roots. Harmless.
Having just finished a large cup of Cafix, I must say my anxiety levels have dropped some. I now have a means of getting through the rough Iowa winter.
I have ordered Pero over the Internet. I will report on it too, when I get it.
S.Faux (feeling toasty)
Here's what I drink when the fireplace is going:
http://www.worldpantry.com/cgi-bin/ncommerce3/ProductDisplay?prmenbr=165430&prrfnbr=178444
Nowhere near a Postum flavor, but you might like it. I drank Postum like crazy in my 20s but I gave it up for some reason. Now that I know it's unavailable, I'm nostalgic.
Follow-up #2:
After having a second cup of Cafix, I think it falls a little short of Postum. Cafix tries too much to taste like coffee. However, with some honey and vanilla in the mix, the taste comes very close to Postum. I will just have to do my best to fool my tongue.
Thanks for sharing! I'm not sure if I overlooked it, but I'd love to hear your review on Pero. How does it compare to Cafix? My parents love Postum and are just about to finish their last bottle. I was hoping to find some to surprise them for Christmas, but no luck. (They sure have been relishing this last one!) They are getting ready to move to Iowa, too, so your post was particularly meaningful.
Susan,
I bought a can of Pero, but I have not opened it yet. I am still working on my bottle of Cafix. To make it palatable I dissolve a Wintergreen Lifesaver into the cup of water that I am boiling. I add a little sugar and milk, and the result is quite tasty. When I try Pero I will write a report.
Thanks for visiting.
REPORT ON PERO:
I just tried my first cup of Pero. It is ground into a very fine power. My teenager could not help himself as I was stirring my first cup. When he saw the unusual can on the counter, he popped the lid open rather vigorously and spilt several tablespoons, which flew all over the place. It was a mess, and I was not in a great mood after that.
Even so, my cup of Pero reminded me of Postum, but Pero still does not taste as good. I enjoyed Pero, and I might like it a little better than instant Cafix.
I probably will keep both brands around the house, so that I can drink one or the other depending upon my mood.
I am still in mourning over Postum, but at least I have some fairly good (but not perfect) substitutes.
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