Preliminaries: Since my title might be misleading a clarification is in order. This short essay is about the topic of proposing marriage. But, my title does make me wonder if anyone has used a blog to propose marriage. It took me two seconds to find "Google evidence" of someone proposing over Twitter. Such a marriage proposal to me is more "geekly" than romantically innovative. For better or worse, it is a simple fact that technology broadens the possibilities for proposals. One way or another, the job has to get done.
Do Mormon men make proposals in a different manner than non-Mormons? I doubt it. If there is a cultural difference, then it might be that Mormon guys ask something like: "Will you have me for eternity?" Latter-day Saint couples living the standards of their religion are eligible to be married by priesthood authorities in a temple "for time and eternity."
My wife claims she never received a proper (romantically-based) marriage proposal. I am NOT sure what she expected. I got the result right. We were married in the Provo, Utah temple – almost 30 years ago.
In fact, my wife says that she was impatient after about a year of courtship. She claims she said to me, "Are you ever going to get around to a marriage proposal?" Apparently, I was VERY "business like" in the later stages of our courtship. Actually, I was just being scientific about it. Was such an arrangement financially viable? Would we have health insurance? Could I afford a ring? All these issues and more had to be worked out in a logical and systematic manner. Romance was for Hollywood – or so I naively thought.
I was a 27-year old graduate student in cognitive neuroscience and evolutionary psychology. Based on an apocryphal quote too often attributed to Brigham Young, I had reached the unmarried age of being "a menace to the community." I doubt Brigham Young used the term "menace," but he did say things more direct like: "[Y]oung men in Israel … at an age to marry … go straightway and get married to a good sister" (Journal of Discourses 12: 200).
Occasionally, when I tell my marriage story to a Mormon audience, someone will say: "Wow. You waited UNTIL age 27!" My retort is, "President David O. McKay was 27 when he got married." Humph. Sometimes in Mormon culture one must have prepared "comebacks."
Maybe it's one of those quirks of cultural evolution, but many Mormons seem to like early marriage.
J. E. Uecker and C. E. Stokes (2008; "Early marriage in the United States," Journal of Marriage and Family, 70, 835-846) recently reported the results of an important national survey involving 2,975 young women and 2,900 young men, all within the ages of 18 and 27, in which age of marriage was studied as a function of religion. For example, it was determined that 16.6% of Catholic females and 12% of Catholic males got married before age of 23. Among "Mainline Protestants" these percentages were 28.3 and 15.4, respectively. Among Mormons the numbers increased to 39.2% and 29.8%, respectively. The authors concluded that Mormons were more likely to marry at young ages than both mainline Protestants and Catholics.
The cultural pressure for early marriage extends to short courtships as well. An example is my pioneer relative Jabez Faux, Senior who took "short courtship" to an extreme.
Jabez (born in 1837) was an unmarried young man who joined the Church in England. He traveled by handcart to Salt Lake City, Utah in 1860 at the age of 23. After a couple of years of "single life" in Utah he was probably feeling some pressure to get married. In 1862 at a "Church dance" Jabez encountered a pretty girl named Hanna Danielsson, age 22, who was newly arrived to Utah from Sweden. She could hardly speak a word of English.
As the story goes (told thousands of times in my family) Jabez approached Hanna and without introduction simply said, "How's about it?" He was NOT asking Hanna to dance with him. Instead, he was making a marriage proposal. I have NO idea how Hanna understood him, but the result was clear. Hanna and Jabez were married on the upcoming Christmas Eve. The marriage was long (55 years) and by all accounts successful.
Whenever my wife complains about how I bypassed a standard romantic proposal, I remind her of the story of Jabez and Hanna Faux. As I say, it is useful to have prepared "comebacks."
To provide my wife with some vicarious experience, I searched wide and far through the video world of marriage proposals.
Here are my top three favorites. I will begin in reverse order. (Be sure to view #1).
Third place for the Faux Award for Memorable Marriage Proposals goes to the following:
In this video Lia Anter, a prominent beauty queen, receives a surprising marriage proposal from a soldier recently returned from Iraq.
Second place for the Faux Award for Memorable Marriage Proposals goes to this Army Sergeant who proposed on TV from Iraq:
FIRST PLACE for the Faux Award for Memorable Marriage Proposals goes to a fellow named John who proposed to Erika at Disneyland using an elaborate production:
I hope these videos caused you to shed a tear, and I hope the essay caused a smile.
Copyright 2009 S.Faux (Email: foxgoku54 [at] gmail [d0t] c0m; URL: http://mormoninsights.blogspot.com). Readers may distribute this post for noncommercial purposes provided such distributing is of the entire post, including author's copyright and contact information. All other rights reserved.
Please feel free to give my blog site a "Blogged.com" rating and review by clicking here.
Support Mormon Insights by making a COMMENT.
0 comments:
Post a Comment