My Top 10 Unanswerable Questions
Preface: Some questions are "wrong" because they NEVER can be answered. Below is a list of ten of my favorite "wrong" questions with no adequate answer. Of course, I try to answer them anyway.
Forgive me for writing proactively to push some points.
1. Is BYU the Lord's university?
Perhaps I shouldn't list this as an unanswerable question, since the answer is clearly NO. However, newly baptized adult members of the Church, at least in the United States, should be forewarned that this question might get raised at LDS gatherings, especially if BYU wins the big game. For some reason the question pops up most when BYU wins, but NOT so much when it loses.
2. Can Mormons drink Pepsi?
This is an all-time favorite unanswerable question. There are usually two LDS camps of thought. Mormons who drink Pepsi usually say "yes." Those who don't drink Pepsi usually say "no" but mainly for the enjoyment of watching the guilty squirm. Guilt-tripping is a highly refined art in some areas of LDS culture – such as Ward picnic parties.
3. Why can't I sing a note?
Singing is a big part of Mormon culture. I love music. Both sides of my family consisted of musicians. In fact, I have two cousins on the Tabernacle Choir. So, why am I tone deaf?
During a hymn I cannot hear the words, just the notes. I can hear spoken words fine, but not well when words are sung. Further, my voice has a range of only two off-key notes.
My only inadequate answer is that life is NOT fair. Such is life.
4. Does the Bloggernacle accurately reflect the Mormon culture, or is it a biased sample?
Bloggernacle authors probably are those Latter-day Saints who have trouble keeping their mouths shut, like ME. Not every Latter-day Saint thinks he or she has something important that everyone else ought to know. So, I think the Bloggernacle is a biased sample of the LDS world.
5. Why is Mormonism a moving religion?
Latter-day Saints are moved by their religious beliefs in about all possible ways. This phenomenon becomes most evident on Saturdays when a team of Elders will show up at someone's doorstep to help load a moving truck.
I know of no other religion that competes with "Two Men and a Truck." The competition is squashed, since the Elders do their work without a fee – except for the lemonade and donuts.
A little study of our religious history soon reveals that Mormons have always been on the move.
6. What do exotic jungle juices have to do with Mormonism and the American way?
Perhaps it is mostly a Utah thing, but some Mormons swear by expensive mangosteen juice or by particular brands of cheap soap. Mormons are good at loyalty, and apparently that characteristic sometimes generalizes to "purchasing" loyalty. How this happens is unknown to modern science.
7. If time is relative, as Einstein suggests, does fasting slow down the clock?
If meteorologists can have psychological temperature scales such as a "wind-chill" index, then chronologists should be able to have a "fasting" index of time. Any Latter-day Saint knows that a three-hour block on Fast Sunday feels like six hours. Time slows by a factor of two when hungry.
8. Are Mormons better than everyone else?
No, but the occasional person who might think such a thing is definitely more unbearable than everyone else.
9. How many angels can dance on a LDS blog?
There are definitely some beautiful "angels" out there in the LDS blog world – a lot of them. I am NOT one of them. I would be better characterized as a grumpy curmudgeon who benefits from the inspiration of others – the true angels that are out there. The LDS blog world runs the gamut of life – going from the sacred to the profane. I try to avoid the profane.
10. Is the gospel simple or complex?
The basic gospel is probably simple, but I make it way too complex anyway.
A few months ago at a High Priest Group meeting I was teaching a talk by Lawrence E. Corbridge (“The Way,” Ensign, Nov 2008, 34–36) as a "Teaching for Our Times." As part of the lesson we worked our way though some of the main scriptural citations, one of which was: “I am Alpha and Omega, Christ the Lord; yea, even I am he, the beginning and the end, the Redeemer of the world” (D&C 19:1). Perhaps I was out of line when I asked the group of High Priests the following questions: " Is it OK to equate Jesus with God, and is it OK to say He is eternal with no start and no finish? Is Jesus temporary?"
Upon hearing this complex question, one of the men (a visitor I think) responded, "I sense this lesson is turning into 'Gospel Mysteries 101.' "
The comment was funny, but it also got me to thinking that maybe I just go overboard.
Here was my prepared answer:
Alpha is the first letter of the Greek alphabet; Omega is the last. The basic phrase “I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end” is found throughout scripture: Revelation 1:8, 11; 21:6; 22:13; 3 Nephi 9:18; D&C 19:1; 35:1; 38:1; 45:7; 54:1, 61:1; 63:60; 68:35; 75:1; 81:7; 84:120; 112:34; and 132:66. This phrase, announcing the special nature of Christ, begins six Sections of the D&C (cited above). Further, passages like D&C 39:1, Moses 6:67, and Moses 7:29 state that Jesus is "from all eternity to all eternity."
Yes, I definitely go overboard.
Some questions are better if NOT asked. If asked, then maybe those questions should go unanswered. In the future, I will work on turning my brain into a "blank slate." If only I could STOP thinking… .
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10 comments:
Growing up, I thought that Amway was some sort of subsidiary of Deseret Industries.
I absolutely loved Corbridge's talk. I had no recollection of him prior to it. Had you ever heard of him? After I heard it, I thought, If he doesn't end up in THE 12, I will be surprised. It was that powerful a message for me.
Totally with you on #3. I can sing a hymn in 5 different keys, never once being the one the song is actually in. It's painful, really.
I remember being in Seminary and the teacher being grateful that I was engaged but frustrated at my fascination with the unanswerable and desire to stir the pot. He sanctioned the first five minutes of class as my five minutes and I could ask any question I wanted (and he would try to answer it) but then after that I had to behave myself and be conducive to the lesson.
Now that I am older I find that I strain a lot less for the things I can't know or cause me doctrinal distress and many of those same answers have come, or peace with the not knowing with out me even trying (at least not too hard). :)
Elizabeth-W:
Yes, I just loved Corbridge's talk on "The Way." It was extraordinary. Everyone should read that talk all the way through, and then really think about its meaning.
Dovie:
I would characterize myself in much the same way. When young I was obsessed with the imponderable, but now I am much more at peace, realizing somethings can never be satisfactorily answered.
Hurrah! I enjoyed your 10 questions. Some of them were fairly moving.
Johnny Locke would be very pleased to read your 'blank slate' comment.
I cringe every time I hear people say that BYU is the Lord's university, unless they are joking. The temple is the Lord's university. Mormon’s can drink Pepsi, but they should not if slight dependence from caffeine is an issue. If you find out why you are tone death, please let me know! That dude who said that your lesson was turning into gospel mysteries 101 was a little too reactionary. I think you asked an excellent question that would be welcome in our high priest group. The question of the Savior’s standing with God the Father is an important issue in the restored gospel because the answer to that question sets us apart from the rest of Christianity.
Dave C.:
Thanks for your encouragement. A tabula rasa almost sounds appealing to a hyperactive mind, but on the other hand, like Steven Pinker argues in his related book, blank slates do NOT do much at all. They are like computers without a Read Only Memory, incapable of even getting started up.
The gospel is both simple and complex. It is simple enough that a child can understand it. I know this from when I taught my own son before he was baptized. It was clear from his answers to my questions that he had an intellectual understanding of the gospel and why he was being baptized.
I also saw this firsthand many, many times as I taught the eleven year old Primary class for a year after being released as the High Priest Group leader. I much preferred the excitement and enthusiam of the eleven year olds to the rambling discourses of the High Priests as they answered my questions in group meetings.
As to D&C 19:1 about Alpha and Omega, I wonder if the Lord wasn't trying to help us understand something very, very significant by his use of this phrase so many times in the D&C. The answer can be a quite complex and difficult to comprehend. Jesus is God. He is eternal. He has no beginning and no end. We know each of these things from revealed scripture.
Alpha and Omega reminds me of the Lord's usage of the phrase "from all eternity to all eternity." We mortals have a hard time thinking in a non-linear fashion, so perhaps the Lord was trying to help us understand that he lived in the eternities before time existed as we measure it and will continue to do so in the eternities to come after time ceases to be measured the way we do now.
That leads me to Abraham chapter three in the Pearl of Great Price where we are taught a little bit about time and the revolution of planets and that all-Mormon mystery of the planet Kolob. There the Lord teaches us that time is different on each planet depending on where it is in relation to the palce whereon the Lord dwells.
Is the gospel complex? You bet! But I am comforted by the Lord's clear statement that he is more intelligent than all of us and has got these things figured out. Someday, I am confident that I will be able to comprehend what he is willing to reveal to me, just as soon as I am able and ready - if not in this life, then in the life to come. And that is so simple!
Tim:
I had to smile with your comparison of teaching 11 year olds versus the High Priests. As usual, you have a talent for capturing precise ideas in words. Because of such, I imagine that your handling of both age groups was an inspiration to all involved.
I agree with your characterization that the gospel is both simple and complex. The saving principles are simple, but there are never ending layers of complexity allowing people like you and me to study and learn the rest of our lives.
As a High Priest instructor I well understand the capacity of these men to delve into the mysteries. That is why I try as hard as I can to stick to the text of the published lesson materials. Actually, I think the fellow mentioned in the essay was responding more to that capacity than the actual proceedings of my lesson.
Thanks for reading and responding.
Speaking of eleven year olds... When my daughter was about eleven she said something like this to me. "I think we can't comprehend God and how he can be timeless because we are living in time. Lots of the things we can't understand are because we live pretty much in another dimension. It would be like someone living in a two dimension world. They just could not comprehend three dimensions no matter how hard they tried. The two dimensional persons experience doesn't allow understanding three dimensions. I think that it will be like pulling that pulling that two dimensional person up and into three dimensions when we are with Heavenly Father it will be like, 'oh of course.' Then we will understand why we can't understand."
She had just read a Muse magazine article explaining dimensions in terms she could somewhat grasp. I loved that her science brain then went strait to potential gospel application I know you can get into trouble with this but for this question with this eleven year old it was just fabulous.
I don't know how I missed this post when it was published -- but hurrah to EmJen for featuring it in "Bloggernacle Back Bench" this morning so that I could read it now. It was great, S.
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